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Public Service Announcement

Attention citizens:

The US Government will be handing out Monopoly money, and commanding us to spend it in order to keep up the charade of prosperity.  It is your duty and obligation to go out and support our retailers, and buy big screen TVs, gas guzzlers, and clothes that you will wear for one season and discard, lest you be seen as un-stylish, and therefore, un-American.  Good citizens will use their credit cards to pump Monopoly money into the economy, at a special usage rate of 20-50%.  We need to consider our altruism, and our love for the country that brought us boons to humanity, such as Walmart, KFC, and E Entertainment television.  Where would we be without these modern marvels of revolutionary corporate retailing and media?

There are communists and enemies of the state who allege that our economy is running on fumes, and to this, we must proclaim, LIES, bitter and ugly LIES!  Our economy will be sustained purely by the power of positive thinking alone... haven't you seen "The Secret?"  We don't need a thriving manufacturing industry, investments in green power, work on national our infrastructure, or funding for technological innovations.  Those things are antiquated, romantic ideas --vestiges of the 19th and 20th century. The solution to our problem is, as a matter of fact, fewer anti-trust regulations, more empowerment for the most important entities in an industrialized universe (corporations) more services and of course, more retail. 

The world bank and US treasury have discovered that their alchemy experiments at turning lead into gold have failed, and will be inserting IVs into every individual, so that you can do your part to support the puppeteers of the US government -excuse that typo, I meant corporations.  If you decide that this is a violation of your rights and refuse, you will be branded a subversive and ostracized for the remainder of you existence, and you will not be served coffee at McDonald's. 

Do your part for the economy;  Do your part... for America.

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