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September 29, 2011

Lady G
123 Palatial Urban Flat
Brooklyn, NY 12345

Dear Lady G:

We appreciate your interest in Supreme Queen Inc.  for the position of Ultimate Diva. After reviewing the applications received by the deadline, yours was not selected for further consideration.  The truth of the matter is that you don't have the right public image, connections, and political orientation that we are looking for in a prospective job candidate.  Nowadays, actual talent has become irrelevant; we're looking for someone who will help us SELL-- the more the better, in any way possible.  In these difficult times, it is especially important that we not be earmarked as out of touch with the mainstream, since we will become estranged from our main demographic.

We at Supreme Queen Inc appreciate the time you invested in your application, but  we will not be considering you for posted and advertised positions in our company in the future.  We wish you every personal and professional success with your job search. Thank you, again, for your interest in our company.

Best Regards,
Madame Duman Blinde
HR Director for Supreme Queen Inc.

Acknowledgement:  This letter has been shamelessly plagiarized from the good people at

Attachment parenting: the New Order in parenting

My guide for successful attachment parenting as it is practiced in the United States today:

1) Your child will be strapped to you at all times, even during bathing.  It will behoove you to buy one of those waterproof wraps to wear in the shower.  You will wear, clunky, unflattering, all terrain boots and yoga shorts, and take the bus to mom and baby yoga.  Inspire yourself to return to a time before the advent of distractions such as the internet, automobiles, and indoor plumbing.

2) You will find yourself wearing breastfeeding tops, and whip out your breast at a moments notice in parks, diners, supermarkets, hotel lobbies, and the NYC subway.  You will read books on homemade baby food, and your home will be filled with BPA free, stylish sippy cups, silicone frozen baby food molds, modern design bottle trees, and the newest in learning toys.

3) You will go to your child and hold them when they cry, even if it is four in the morning, and you've woken up every night on the hour for the past four weeks.  This may continue until the child is 8 months, or even up to 4 years.  Do not attempt to "Ferberize" or sleep train your child, because this considered cruel and unnatural behavior as defined by progressive, liberal intellectuals, and you will be accused of German Malicious Mother Syndrome.

4) You will allow your child to crap their pants until they are five years old, and be responsible for diapering them and wiping their ass until they go to kindergarten.  Don't worry about the alleged psychological or health consequences of such a "permissive" parenting style!  The most important thing is to shield your child from feelings of shame or inadequacy at all cost.  Your child will choose to train her self when she is ready.  She may be wearing diapers when she is 8, but she will have an incredible sense of positive self-regard.

5) Do not ever yell at your child in order to correct them, or to prevent them from harming themselves.  Such negative thought and behavior patterns perpetuate bad vibes.  The idea of establishing authority is a relic of patriarchism, and such ideas need to be abolished from common practice in order to establish the New Order Parenting.  A real parent is a friend, not a cold autocratic monster who heaps all sorts of pesky rules on their child, establishes routines, like bedtimes, or plans healthy diets and meal plans.

6) Allow your child to dress themselves, even if they have not yet developed the language skills to pronounce colors.  It is paramount that your child feel free to express themselves.  Occasionally this may mean that they choose to wear their Spiderman pyjamies to your sister's wedding, or nothing but their Dora the Explora undwear to your next playdate, but during these moments of frustration, just remember that you are doing your duty as a parent by fostering your child's sense of self expression, creativity, and playfulness.

7) Do not succumb to detrimental "helicopter parenting" habits, such as sending your child to piano lessons, making them study or do homework.  Your child's natural, innate abilities will dictate their behavior.  If they are meant to be a pianist of note, they will look at the piano, and intuitively know how to play it, becoming virtuosos at young ages.  If they are meant to be rocket scientists or neurosurgeons, they will naturally decide to read books on the human body or theoretical physics over Batman comic books. You may be attacked by other parents who try to dissuade you from this, telling you that these habits may result in regression towards the mean, but carry on and endure!  These parents are small time tyrants, and their children see them as dictators. Your child needs to be shielded from oppressing parenting styles. 

By following these simple steps, you will raise a happy, well adjusted adult, who values themselves above all else, has a healthy sense of entitlement, and knows that there are more important things in life than work.  These measures will also promote population control, since a parent who executes these measures properly will likely only raise one child.


My favorite villains

 This is a cross posting of one of my commentaries from a kinky discussion forum.

The wicked witch of the west from Wizard of Oz is one of the most iconic of all witches.  She's cold, heartless, and strikes terror into the hearts of any adversary with only one cackle. She just embodies the epitome of everthing everyone loves to hate about witches! A close second would be Ursula from The Little Mermaid. She's quite charming, really, if you don't know the true reality of what she's up to...much like many real life villains (Bernie Madoff, for instance.)  And one of my recents... in the newest Batman, Heath Ledger was absolutely incredible as the Joker. What I really appreciate about his representation of the character was the neuroticism and the vulnerabilities tied to him... much more human, and in a sense, far more terrifying than the aloof, inaccessible jokers in past films.  And I couldn't forget about Frankenstein! Mary Shelley's novel, had it been written in modern times, could be construed as an allegorical tale for the type of modern experimentation that is happening today, especially with regards to cloning and genetic engineering. Man is obsessed with creating life. Man finally achieves mission, only to realize he could never imagine the consequences for said action. Man wishes to destroy what he worked so hard to create. Man spends lifetime trying to undo. I find the dialog between the monster and doctor at the end extremely interesting... In a sense, the villain is really the doctor... the monster simply the tragic, accidental participant.  In a separate class altogether would be Scarlett O'Hara, more of an anti-heroine than a true villainess (although I'm sure that would depend upon perspective.) Scarlett embodies the passions, shortcomings, and internal struggles of so many women... her flaws are just out there... she doesn't try to hide them.  What makes a true villain is a person who you LOVE to HATE, despise and yet fear at a deep gut level. They embody the shadow of ourselves... the part that we don't want to acknowledge, the part that we most want to hide or eradicate. Aspects of human nature are so often polarized in fiction and legend; characters are either extremely good, or extremely evil, whereas in reality, good people often do very bad things. 


The new solution for American politics

There is, unfortunately, the eternal dilemma in politics.  A politician must be a dynamic individual, innately charismatic and able to move the masses, and the ultimate spin doctors.  Unfortunately, said individuals come with pesky predispositions, such as hyper-sexuality, high needs for affection and attention, and tendencies toward dishonesty.  The American public does not want to be reminded of base human desires, such as eating, elimination, and acts towards pleasure and pro-creation.  What we need is a politician possessed of all the requisite poise, charisma, and intelligence, without any of the accompanied propensities towards sexual perversities (in this case, defined as extra-marital sex, any sex except vaginal sex, and exchange of explicit emails or texts.)    We need to cull and hone our politicians into robots of civil servitude so dedicated that they will not expend their precious energy on anything except civil service, and in this way we can spare ourselves the shock of confronting the realities of the human dynamic and existence.  For this, I have come up with the compassionate solution:  chemical castration.

I propose mandatory castration for males, and suturing of the labia minoris for females, in order to curtail opportunities for scandal.  In fact, I propose extending this policy to anyone employed in civil service all together. Can you imagine the savings in legal costs alone?  In addition to the cost savings, we can be assured of the service of these loyal automatons to the state for decades to come.  Let's mobilize support for this measure on the next ballot referendum.  Peace!

"Sex" is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other.
Marquis de Sade   Read more:


Public Service Announcement

Attention citizens:

The US Government will be handing out Monopoly money, and commanding us to spend it in order to keep up the charade of prosperity.  It is your duty and obligation to go out and support our retailers, and buy big screen TVs, gas guzzlers, and clothes that you will wear for one season and discard, lest you be seen as un-stylish, and therefore, un-American.  Good citizens will use their credit cards to pump Monopoly money into the economy, at a special usage rate of 20-50%.  We need to consider our altruism, and our love for the country that brought us boons to humanity, such as Walmart, KFC, and E Entertainment television.  Where would we be without these modern marvels of revolutionary corporate retailing and media?

There are communists and enemies of the state who allege that our economy is running on fumes, and to this, we must proclaim, LIES, bitter and ugly LIES!  Our economy will be sustained purely by the power of positive thinking alone... haven't you seen "The Secret?"  We don't need a thriving manufacturing industry, investments in green power, work on national our infrastructure, or funding for technological innovations.  Those things are antiquated, romantic ideas --vestiges of the 19th and 20th century. The solution to our problem is, as a matter of fact, fewer anti-trust regulations, more empowerment for the most important entities in an industrialized universe (corporations) more services and of course, more retail. 

The world bank and US treasury have discovered that their alchemy experiments at turning lead into gold have failed, and will be inserting IVs into every individual, so that you can do your part to support the puppeteers of the US government -excuse that typo, I meant corporations.  If you decide that this is a violation of your rights and refuse, you will be branded a subversive and ostracized for the remainder of you existence, and you will not be served coffee at McDonald's. 

Do your part for the economy;  Do your part... for America.


Submissive males and psychoanalytic defense mechanisms

What are defense mechanisms?  They are convoluted, twisted ways that the subconscious deals with anxiety, fear, and uncomfortable feelings.  For instance, a man with homosexual leanings that he doesn't care to acknowledge will see a gay man, and proceed to make a big show about how much he hates him, despises him, and wants to beat him up.  He may surmise (incorrectly) that because a gay man chats him up, that said man is "hard for him," a classic example of projection of one's own feelings and motivations onto another.  This situation brings up inner conflict, since on the one hand, the repressed man is experiencing sexual excitement, if not from that specific gay man, but from the IDEA of having gay sex in general, but he doesn't want to acknowledge his own sexuality, since it is uncomfortable.  What he does instead, is to call him a faggot, and give him a few jabs in the ribs, taunting him to fight. Violence, coincidentally, is yet another defense mechanism that the unconscious uses to diffuse subconscious as well as conscious tension.  In this way, he is proving to everyone how un-gay he is, and twisting his own fears and anxieties surrounding his latent homosexual feelings into violence, so that he can profess that he attacked the man because he was immoral or inherently evil, and not because of his own inner turmoil that was awakened upon the entrance of the gay man.  There have been quite a few clinical studies that show that the more homophobic a man is (as measured by quizzes and tests) the more likely he is to experience arousal (as measured by electrodes placed on the genitals, a pretty hot and sexy idea!) when watching gay porn.

In the same way, when an alpha female walks into the room, beta males become very upset and frustrated.  They are biologically hard wired to want her, yet their fears of being rejected, of being inadequate, and their immediate uncomfortable sexual response lead them to call her a slut, a whore, or a dyke, masking their uncomfortable feelings of inadequacy.  They need to prove to everyone how much they hate the alpha, in order to combat their inferiority complexes, their inappropriate and "unmanly" excitement at the idea of being dominated, and their subliminal fears that they could never be man enough for a woman like THAT.  As with the gay porn studies, I'm inferring that the stronger and more vociferous the reaction of the male, the more likely he is to be utterly, irrefutably, smitten with the alpha female.  Of course, one needs to have a little bit of consideration, knowing that alpha females are innately sexy, and their very presence is like the magical touch of Viagra, provoking the survival desire in even the least virile of men.

Females also engage in this type of behavior, due to their subconscious anxiety of the alpha female "stealing her man,"or very commonly, due to jealousy.  Most likely, the alpha isn't interested in the beta male that she's gotten her claws into, since alpha females are notoriously selective with romantic partners, although it's definitely true that many of them have no qualms about using some poor stag for sexual satisfaction, only to leave him smitten and craving more the next morning.

This is my secret to determining who the submissive males are.  The more uncomfortable they are with dominant women, the more amenable they are to all sorts of foul behavior when approached with the right carrot.  The more a woman professes to hate another woman, the more likely she is to secretly wish to emulate her and possess some of her charms and talents.  It is a biologically innate for women to act this way, although they are not conscious of the reasons that they do it.  (FYI- I don't like to hang with beta, self-hating men and women.  It is a chore.  I do, however, like to use them as toys and abuse them for the evening, and then send them home until the next time I get my urge.  My favorite pets are people who love themselves, and can see eye to eye with me.)

In contrast to the perverse, immature responses of violence, projection, and reaction formation, healthy and MATURE responses include using humor to diffuse uncomfortable situations, fueling your fire for positive, healthy responses, and suppressing any unhealthy thoughts.  This usually works for more enlightened individuals, who are able to look inside themselves and understand their own pathology.  For the dumb-fuck losers, sometimes it's necessary to beat the crap outta them.


Why I have trouble with psychotherapy

I originally went to my psychotherapist, wondering why I had trouble finding people that I felt related to me, felt generally unsatisfied and unfulfilled in my life, and had pervasive feelings of anger due to the idiocy I see all around me.  People just don't understand me, I complained.  I say things in jest and people take them seriously, and only the smartest among them understand my humor.  She listened to me for awhile, and diagnosed me with
297.1 Delusional disorder 
It was blatantly apparent, she said, that I had delusions of grandeur, since I held a pervasive belief that I was smarter than other people. Still, I found that this didn't sit quite well with me, so I decided I needed a second opinion.

The second one decided that because of my limited affect and unusual way of carrying myself, as well as my obsessive interest with sex, bdsm, and fetishism, self professed difficulty relating to others, that I had
299.80 Asperger's disorder
Seeing that the majority of aspies are male, typically exhibit clumsiness and other motor disorders, tend to display repetetive self-stim behaviors, have a childhood history of difficulty forming friendships, lack of eye contact, and difficulty understanding humor, I found this to be a very probable diagnosis.  Still, I decided that I needed a third opinion, just to be sure.

The third therapist, who was an MD, took a very methodical, empirical approach, and had me fill out a complete inventory, which involved pages and pages of quizzes, tests, and short answers.  This therapist decided that I had multiple issues, including:
300.14 Dissociative identity disorder
302.6 Gender identity disorder
301.83 Borderline witch personality disorder
301.7 Antisocial personality disorder
302.84 Sexual sadism
He was much more clear with me on the reasons for obtaining this diagnosis, and provided a clear delineation of the traits I exhibited which indicated those diagnoses, including
1)use of aliases in conning and blackmailing others for personal profit/pleasure
2)open repudiation for and display of disdain of social norms and repeated show of aggression
3)lack of remorse, and in fact, enjoyment of having hurt, beaten, flogged, tied up, psychologically tortured or abused another
4) Complaining that that one has bigger balls than most men, and deriding others for not being "man enough" to handle them, and engaging in forced intercourse with men and women with a feeldoe.
5)highly capricious mood swings, engagement in the use of other people as furniture, footstools, and subhuman objects, such as doormats.

After a few months of enduring mild hallucinations due to the cocktail of anti-psychotics I was prescribed, I began to contemplate which diagnosis would allow me to extract the most money in disability and social security income, and which one would most allow me to pursue my political career when I retired from dominatrixing, but finally, I decided to eschew all use of drugs and detoxify my life with a cleanse diet, an array of B vitamins and amino acids, and joined a boxing gym, where at least I could channel my aggression into beating up the inferiors--excuse me, I mean-- kicking some pads and bags and stuff.  I decided that instead I had
300.9 unspecified mental disorder (nonpsychotic)

It's very difficult to find a good therapist.  A good psychotherapist must be a good observer, able to grasp the subtext of a conversation easily, should be endowed with the verbal finesse of a diplomat, and of course, they must be MORE sophisticated than yourself, so that you might gain insights.  I've decided that, being more enlightened than most, that my best course of action is to read self-help books, take myself to the spa, and allow others to massage my feet, buy me gifts, and pamper me, allowing myself to feel an immediate release and feeling of fulfillment.

click here for photo source/info


A guide for dommes on various sorts of bottoms

This is a guide for dominants on several various sorts of bottoms, and how to treat them.

<70 IQ  Trained monkeys.  Mental age of 10.  Give them simple instructions and they'll be most happy to smell your feet and lick your boots.  The don't carry on conversation very well and most likely will be paying your tribute from their disability payments.  They won't notice that you don't give a crap about them, so don't trouble yourself more than necessary.

70-100 IQ  Marginally functional.  Mental age of 16 (for life).  This includes cashiers at Duane Reade's, McDonald's, and some public school teachers.  Give them simple instructions, for although they are a little more conversant, they don't require a lot of intricate work or heavy psychological head trips; their needs are simple.  They may profess to have grand ideas, but are not capable of solving dilemmas more complex than figuring out a new way to tie their shoes.  They may require patience when dealing with complex problems, such as finding an item for you on the store shelves, or cancelling a transaction.  They are extremely susceptible to brainwashing via mass marketing campaigns, but are in general, easily subdued as long as you keep them well stocked with potato chips, video games, and access to cable television so that they can watch the Jersey Shore and Real Housewives of Atlanta.

100-115 IQ Marginally functional. Mental age of 23 (for life).   This includes most public school teachers, administrative assistants, copy clerks, writers for tabloids, Hollywood producers, low to mid level pharmaceutical sales representatives, most loan officers and stock brokers, members of the tea party, sociopaths, and unfortunately, some doctors and medical professionals. *shudders*  This is the most dangerous group of all, because they have just enough intelligence to create a lot of havoc.  Still, this group has only a marginally better ability to comprehend problems and, as a whole, have very limited powers of intellectual analysis.  This is the group which becomes angry and and feels entitled, and believes that they are just as good as their superiors.  They are vicious in temperament, base and mean, and hostile to anyone not dressed to J. Crew catalog specifications.  They need to be watched carefully, since their work is rife with errors due to incompetence, and they need minimal amounts of praise so that they can feel good about themselves.  They don't like to feel that anyone else should tell them what to do, even when they are unwittingly committing horrible crimes and errors due to their lack of understanding and sophistication.  Allow them to brown nose you and kiss your ass a few times, wear something scant and provocative so that they'll get their rocks off, and charge them 65% more, making it clear that tips are obligatory.  If they become hostile or belligerent, corporal punishment is the best course of action.  They will be happy to go home and take their family to Red Lobster or TGI Fridays, thinking that they had a wild and crazy time in secret.

115-125 IQ Above Average.  Mental age of 35. You can expect more from these people, since they are generally competent, possess greater empathic powers and make fewer mistakes.  This group contains intellectual non-conformists, the better doctors *sigh of relief* and research analysts, and high level professionals.  This group likes heavy duty psychodrama, role play, and has a higher level of sophistication.  They need attention and are usually more daring and risk taking, and may be heavy masochists.  They make very loyal assistants and servants, and good escorts to parties.

>125  Superheroes, demi-gods, and top dominatrixes. These people will not likely be slaves, and if they are, they should be kept as pets rather than used for labor.  They have myriad skills, are excellent conversationalists, and are possessed of mild psychic abilities.  You should not have friends who do not fit into one of the last two categories, since you will categorically degrade yourself by association.

>150  Immortals.  So rare and elusive that they barely exist.  They don't spend much time with others because it is a chore simply to have a conversation with anyone endowed with less than 130.  Working in top secret laboratories and planning on eventual world domination.


On being borderline superhuman

See, it's not really, that I actually have superpowers, super strength, super intelligence, super psychic abilities, or super immunity.  It's simply that I'm statistically in an entirely different echelon than most people, making it SEEM that way.

Compared to most people, who feed their face with twinkies, pizza, canolies, and high end macarons from boutique bakeries every day, I'm in good shape.  I make a conscientious effort to put antioxidants and vitamins into my body.  I'm cognizant of how serious illnesses are spread and know that it's not important how often you wash your hands, but when you wash them.   I work out three times a week and have taken myself to psychotherapy, and happen to be a fountain of information on diverse and varied interests, making it SEEM like I know about everything.

But yes, after all, it's all relative when analyzed with quantitative analysis and statistics.

Some bitches wonder what my secret with men is

I seem to have the golden touch... men who date me want to marry me, simple as that. Funny thing, because most of the time that's the last thing on my mind.

Bitches are catty, wondering, what's so great about HER? Well, my secret is simple.  Are you ready?

1)I'm a dynamo in the bedroom, creative, and have the flexibility of a gymnast.
2)I'm amazingly intelligent and insightful, and a deep conversationalist who keeps up with news and trending topics, and an innate psychologist who understands others before they understand themselves.
3)I'm engaging, spontaneous, and fucking hot.

So, now that my secrets have seen the light of day, I'd like all you girls to feel free to cash in on my enlightening tips for the benefit of your relationship.

Sometimes it's enough just to have good pheromones

If you also happen to be fucking hot and brilliant in addition to that, you're irresistable (not to mention intimidating).

Feeling terribly sorry for myself...

After all, it's not easy living a life of relative leisure. I always think to myself... I should be DOING something with my life... you know, working retail, sweating away as a waitress somewhere... Instead I get to take my kids to the park, the beach, the museum. It's simply tragic! What a waste of a statistical anomaly such as myself! And the fact that I have to be taken care of to the fullest! It's simply terrible! I loathe every second of it. Life would be better if I lost about 15 I.Q. points, and was working some normal, dead end job somewhere, struggling to pay my rent. But, at least I'd have plenty of company and bohemian brag rights with people in the same boat as I am, meaning the other, um, winners.

My entire life I've been, you know, a total loser.  I knew early on that I had talents in the verbal skills department, winning the spelling bee in elementary school, levying interest for a student published newspaper in 5th grade, and going on to win the science fair for a psychology related topic in 7th grade, but instead, I decide to let myself become engrossed with the dark and seedy world of kink and porn.

Adult life wasn't much easier for me, as I went on to become a super nasty film queen, published model, professional party-er, and wanna be trash from Hollywood, and coincidentally putting myself through grad school on the side (as insurance of course, just in case my career in kink didn't take off)
And now I'm sitting on this utterly useless medical degree, when I could be contributing to society by working at the copy center, or being an administrative assistant in a cubicle somewhere.

Absolutely, unfathomably, terrible.

BDSM identities

I think that for those who are not into kink, identity 'fluidity' in the bdsm community can be a bit confusing.  To most people, typically heterosexual, vanilla types, the concept seems to be of a strict top, and a submissive bottom.  The reality is that pinning down bdsm identity is not quite so simple; there are as many types of bdsm identities as there are people.  You could be a sub, a Dom, a masochist, a sub-masochist, a Dominant Sadist, a strict Sadist, a switch, a service Top, a bossy bottom, or a strict fetishist (and the list doesn't end there), but the reality is that it mostly has to do with what turns you on.  Does the idea of submitting turn you on?  There are some suprisingly dominant people who like to sub or bottom, and some people who might come across as subby who make excellent tops. It also seems that identity changes over time as well.  My ex boyfriend got into the scene as a sub, and ONLY subbed, although over time he found that he really enjoyed topping and switching, and there are those who I've known (pro dommes) who got into the scene as tops for financial reasons, who experiment with bottoming in private with people they trust, and alpha male types who are not submissive in any sense of the word who enjoy the rush of a good caning or paddling.  Masochists tend more often to be high stimulation seekers who are more likely to be Dominant in a social sense, and may even direct the top as to what kind of pain they want (topping from the bottom), but need the rush, while submissive masochists will put up with the pain in order to please and receive attention from their Mistress.  There are "fashion" Tops who look good and appreciate lots of ego stroking and compliments, Sadists who delight in every squirm and squeal, and Dominants who enjoy the power trip of your submission, and the art of the seduction.  Never assume that bottoms are pushovers, or that Dominants don't like to be wrestled to the floor or bent over a coffee table and fucked like mad every now and again.  I see that the common thread in all these personalities seems to be the expression of the aggressive and survival impulse (sex).  It's not a clear delineation, and in fact it is more commonly the case that there is no real adherence to strict roles.  The community is, by it's very nature, open, fluid, queer friendly, and for the most part inclusive.

My Cassanova Finger

I learned about my Cassanova finger while taking a personality test.  It seems that having a longer ring finger is related to the effect of testosterone in-utero, and is considered a more 'masculine' pattern, since it is found mostly in males.  These influences the brain result in a person who follows the more 'masculine' pattern, and is predisposed to be more athletic and more aggressive sexually as well as more musical and analytical than other types.  Women with this finger pattern are highly likely to be attracted to other women.  Research has found that the longest finger types were found to be extremely successful investors, business people, athletes, and just generally seemed pre-ordained to be fabulous, while the long index finger types was made for, well... producing babies.

I can say that I wasn't really surprised to learn this, however, I was pleased. I've known these things about myself for my entire life, but was at a loss to explain them, and never bothered to assert what I really believed, knowing that I would be written off as crazy, delusional, or exhibitive of classical Freudian penis envy.  I happen to have one of the longer finger ratio patterns, and to be honest, I've always felt that I was different from most other girls. Friends who really related to me on my wavelength were boys and tom-boyish girl types.  As a former High school band member and GATE student (although not necessarily a straight A one, granted) and a several time poker tournament champion, now I know that my tendency to be direct, brusque, even crass at times, involved with intellectual pursuits, and a little bit of a science geek is not weird, but normal for who I am. 

I've finally, at long last fully acknowledged to myself the fact that I've been fighting my nature for the duration of my existence in order to conform to mediocrity!  Well, there will be no more of that!  In order to self actualize, I must be in touch with my natural impulses: my aggression, my judgemental wit, and of course, my lust.   I'm simply alpha... I can't help it.  Women are subconsciously hateful of my calm self assured manner and directness, because they find it threatening to their self and other hating, backstabbing MO.    I now have reconciled with my feelings of loneliness throughout my life... there simply aren't a lot of women like myself to connect with.  *Embracing the Amazon...*

So it is, that I am not TRYING to be a dominatrix.  I simply AM the dominatrix, by the very nature of who I am.  The things that other women must script for themselves come to me as naturally to me as allowing a breath to enter my body.  My spontaneity and creativity reigns supreme, my unbridled aggression, genuine through and through.

Behaviors and Traits of the Alpha in Nature

I've been reading a lot of posts about what it means to be "alpha," and there doesn't seem to be much consensus. In the minds of most, being alpha means being the good looking jock who gets all the girls, and this is an unfortunate sterotype, since many of those guys are not truly alpha. I will continue this discussion later on.

General traits of alpha:
3)high pain tolerance
4)good overall health-mainly good immunity, which is related to pheromones
5)in primates and more social creatures, intelligence

Behavior of betas when in alpha's presence:
1)Betas are immediately aware of alpha, and generally watch them the entire time they are present. What are they eating? Who are they preening? Beta animals are obsessed with what the alpha is doing at all times.
2)Betas generally fear the alpha, and will not try to mate with the mating partners of alpha male while in their presence. For alpha females, betas generally stay out of their way and will not mess with them if they get angry.
3)Alphas tend to be older and experienced animals, especially the females. Males tend to maintain status through intimidation tactics, while females tend to maintain status through politics, but both tend to be more aggressive than other animals.
4)Levels of testosterone have been linked to alpha behavior. A female chicken injected with testosterone will immediately rise in the "pecking order," and subsequently fall again when the injections cease.
5)There is much evidence for the importance of pheromones in nature. In a pride of lions, all females will go into heat with the alpha female animal... her pheromones signal the other animals to menstruate, which means that all animals will be in their fertile period simultaneously, hence an increased chance of all females becoming pregnant. Studies have shown that humans find pheromone profiles indicating good immunity to be especially enticing, and subliminally, whether we intend to have babies or not with our mates, we are biologically driven to want sex with someone who will give us healthy babies.

I've come across guys who describe themselves as "alpha", and I laugh under my breath, because they tend to be the beer can smashing, dumb jock who has little understanding for the subtleties of the human dynamic, communication, and emotion. A muscle headed, loud belching, sex crazed meat head does NOT an alpha male make. True alpha males are intelligent, sophisticated, and rather than being braggardly or brash, have a cool, understated air and an easy confidence. They are well spoken and have no need for false bravado. They have no need to engage in contrived love games and power plays at dominance, because they simply are, by their very nature, dominant.

Contrary to the sterotype, high maintenance bimbo types are usually submissive females, who, due to their insecurity, are biologically ordained to engage in vain and backstabbing behaviors that they use to gain status. A submissive female is not able to match wits with an alpha male, therefore she feels that she needs to "catch him" by being more beautiful than the rest, dressing promiscuously, and spending lots of time and money on her wardrobe. They also tend to group together in packs, and talk about their latest methods to "trap" and "seduce" men. Alpha males usually have little use for this type of woman, except for maybe as a one night stand.

So, contrary to popular belief, alpha females do not look like Barbie, nor is it a requisite to have massive breasts. Hillary Clinton, Condy Rice, and Martha Stewart, and Oprah are "alpha." I've seen lots of advice for men on how to catch an alpha women, such as one that I was reading last night on a site called "girls ask guys." The article was obviously written by a submissive male, not a female, as you might be led to believe. It contains suggestions to be cocky, overly confident, and aloof. Hmm, well, let's see, if you're anything less than fabulous to begin with, adding these behaviors to your repertoire will make you seem even MORE unattractive than you already are. True alpha females are shrewd, and will know in a matter of 20 minutes exactly what type of person you are, how smart you are, and what your true motivations are. Your attempts at being "alpha" will fool a submissive female, who is so anxious to catch a man that she will put up with all sorts of foul behavior, demeaning comments, and bullshit in order to be possessed. The true alpha will put you out with last weeks garbage, knowing that there are bigger and better fish in the ocean. If you are beta, let's hope, for your sake, that you at least possess some of the more sensitive, nurturing qualities that men generally look for in women. You can distinguish yourself from the rest of the chaff by being available, a good listener, and a romantic who will be the yin to her yang, so to speak.

And the eternal question: Why do men want alpha females?
1)They find them biologically irresistable. Their mind might say no, but their body says YES YES YES!!!!!
2)They are notoriously good lovers
3)Every man wants their son to be an alpha male...

An update:  Out of curiosity, I used google images to find photos of Oprah, Hillary, and Condy's hands and they all appear to have the longer fourth digit.  I wasn't able to find any photos of Martha's hands.

I've decided that my infinite wisdom should be shared with the world

After all, most of humanity functions at barely above mentally retarded levels.  It's amazing that we haven't nuked, polluted, and eaten ourselves into total and utter oblivion. 

Most people are too busy planning their schedule around the Jersey Shore to ponder the great issues and the human condition, so I've decided to do it for us.  So, savor these little gems while you can, before moving on to watch the Kardashians.