What is a "real" Dominatrix?

After moving to New York City and working briefly in various houses of kink, I was horrified to discover how little training most of the "dommes" had. I had come from a place where all girls had to move through the ranks before becoming a dominant, in the process, learning various skills, including safety techniques, and BDSM etiquette. Most of the girls who were working were lifestyle, at least to some extent, and their work was their passion and their art. In contrast, in NYC I discovered fly by night, glorified strippers who had no concept of what was entailed in power play, and girls who had been working for two days who decided to engage in play piercing, and even *shudder* medical injections. I think there is a lot of confusion over what a "real" Dominatrix is, so I decided to put forth a few criteria, which will enable others to discern what a "real" Dominatrix is.

1.) Real Dommes are lifestyle. This means that they attend play parties, and usually have at least one slave/bottom of their own, that they play with regularly.

2.) Real Dommes attend training sessions, and are usually members of at least one BDSM organization, such as The Eulenspiegel Society(TES), Lesbian Sex Mafia (LSM), Masters and slaves Together (MAsT), or Domme/Sub Friends here in NYC, or Threshold or Lair De Sade in Los Angeles.

3.) Real Dommes understand what a psychological/emotional powerplay is, as well as how to make one, and are deeply in touch with their dominant and aggressive energy. Simply putting on a latex catsuit and Louis Vuitton boots does not entitle you to call yourself a Real Domme, although you may qualify as a "fashion top."

4.) Real Dommes are proficient with the use of all sorts of equipment, and will be familiar with most types of devices and tools used in sessions. This means that they can use them skillfully, hit their target with 95% accuracy (nobody's perfect) and do not cause permanent markings unless specifically intended, such as in branding.

5.) Lastly, if the Lady in question has taken the time to develop advanced skills, such as how to do piercing safely (using sterile needle technique), other types of medical play using sterile methods, how to use a singletail, or how to do suspension bondage (safely, using the appropriate knots and precautions), and if she happens to have some sort of medical background, this qualifies her as a Top Domme.

Of course, I am not so naive as to discount the fact that certainly, chemistry matters. Just as I would never want to take on a lifestyle sub unless I had chemistry with them, even if it was simply personality chemistry, I think that certainly, there must be a sexual charge of some sort between Domme and sub. I simply wonder if some of these poor schlubs know how they're taking their lives in their hands allowing some of these dumb bitches to perform surgical techniques on them. Then again, perhaps that's part of the appeal...

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