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2.14.2012

Types of fuckholes and how to treat them: a guide for Dommes

I have devised a system for dommes to determine exactly the type of fuckhole and pathetic loser who wants to serve You. These types are so common, that after a short time, you will be able to pick them out on the street.  I have categorized losers into eight common types:

pigs, hogs, swine - These types are slovenly, double or triple times their expected body weight, and snort very loudly as their preferred means of communication.  Feed them a little garbage and throw them in a mud puddle, before locking their porcine necks into a stockade, so that passerby can throw rocks at them, and where they can long for contact with you.  Their horrible manners make them unsuitable for handling.

donkeys and jackasses-  Stubborn, stupid, and easily subjugated, these are beasts of burden.  Use them for labor, have them clean your floors, carry your stuff for you when you move, and beat them if they are non-compliant.  They make a loud ruckus, but will quickly become compliant with a few swift swats with the riding crops. or a few slashes with the buggy whip.

jackals -  The lowest type of scavenger, who appears to have sharp teeth but is usually incapable of hunting with them.  Do not be fooled by their swagger and bravado, it is merely a cover for their ineptitude.  Place a large gag in their mouth so you don't have to listen to their cackling, and chain them to the wall until they cackle (excuse me, beg) for mercy.  Then you can unchain them and kick them out naked into the street where they can continue to scavenge for carrion meat wherever they can get it.

parrots, minah birds, twitterers-  These are almost exclusively submissive.  They don't think for themselves, but need brainwashing in order to learn the proper way of conducting themselves.  They are hard wired to believe what others tell them, and will end up repeating what they hear over and over and over, for nothing but a few sunflower seeds.  Leave them in a cage without food, and if the cacophony of bird sounds becomes overwhelming, move them to the dark until they are subdued, or hood them.  Sometimes, a little electroshock therapy might be in order if they become hysterical.

snakes and vipers-  Disgusting creatures who usually want to slither at your feet and taste you with their tongues.  They have almost no backbones and communicate mainly by hissing when their self-loathing becomes overwhelming for them.  They need your feet and legs, and have tiny ice cubes for hearts.  If they try to bite, crush them right below their heads with your foot, making them gasp for air. Trample them, crush them, and kick them into a small dark corner when their time is up. 

slobbering dogs - Disgusting animals who are not really into S/m but who make all sorts of ass-umptions about what type of person you are, and are craving services which you will not provide for them. Tie up their genitals so that they yelp with pain and spit in their face.  Put them on a leash and make them crawl on the floor so that you will not have to see them slobber all over themselves.

ostriches-  Large, stupid animals with big muscles.  They have a one track mind and can really only master one or two things in their lifetime.  They appear large and intimidating, but their cranium is smaller than a walnut, and they are highly predicatable and are easily frightened.  When confronted with something that makes them unhappy or confused, they bury their heads in the sand in order to avoid dealing with the issues at hand.  In spite of their large muscles, they don't like corporal punishment, even as much as you'd like to beat them into a pulp.   They like serious taunting and sexual denial.  Put them in a chastity device and throw away the key, so that they can go home to their wife and endure beatings and verbal abuse.  (Tell them to tape record it so that you can get off to it later.)

rabbits - Highly timid, easily frightened, and skittish.  They have a specific desire that they are coming to you for, but have no voice to express it with.  You will be stuck playing charades and invoking your powers of ESP in order to figure out what they are into.  Finally, you will be satisfied with cracking your whip a few times and watching them piss themselves.  Pace around and call them a few names, and afterwards pet their heads condescendingly.  They will be yours forever (unfortunately).

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