Mark your calendars for Hypeox ®

Montsindo and pharmaceutical giant Fiesir have teamed up in order to create Hypeox^® a new inhalable product which will be released to unsuspecting aerobic organisms everywhere this coming winter.  This molecule, a patented form of basic oxygen, is currently undergoing accelerated FDA trials so that it might be approved by January of 2012.  It will be available in single serve pressurized vials sold at all Duane Reade, CVS, and Rite Aid chains nationwide.  It's purported benefits include a mild high not unlike that of a whippet, but without the nasty, chemical after-taste.

Preliminary testing has shown that it appears to be safe, but extended use may result in some mild side-effects, including, but not limited to:

• headaches
• vertigo
• insomnolence
• mild caffeinated sensations similar to that expereinced after taking 5 or 6 caffeine pills
• pneumothorax
• spontaneous breath of fire (and we're not talking the yoga type here)
• uncontrollable levitation
• excessively pink complexion due to unbreakable hydrogen bonds (don't ask)

The new mega corporation, which will henceforth be known as SinFie, has been working around the clock to produce vast quantities of Hypeox^®, anticipating that demand will be high, and that  it will become a status symbol in much the same way that Evian, and Perrier did back in the 80s.  Keep in mind though, that since this molecule has been patented, it will leave a small radioactive tracer in anyone who partakes of it, and they will be expected to pay a yearly tax for the privilege of using Hypeox^®, the ultimate in ventilation experiences.  If you choose not to Hype-oxygenate^®, do not stand within 20 feet of anyone ventilating with Hypeox, since you may inadvertently be exposed to loose Hypeox^® molecules which have permeated standard, sub par oxygen. 

If the popularity of Hypeox^® is as great as anticipated, SinFie will be manufacturing loose quantities to be released into the air in major metropolitain areas, thanks to subsides from the US government.

Thanks from the good folks at SinFie Inc.
SinFie.  Synonymous with Innovation.