A recent report from the Lovenstein Institute, a radical liberal think group, has released the IQ scores of various politicians. I have included the IQs of various other famous public figures, as a reference.
The spokesperson of the Lovenstein Institute, Henri Menteur, in an interview with Smear Campaign Today, a bimonthly magazine that distributes propaganda to a dedicated subscriber base of roughly 300, 000, claimed that their elite group of scientists, who were qualified based on numerous strict criteria analyzed by a special algorithm which takes into account education, accomplishments, political affiliation, and favorite cookie shape, discerned this information by using this same algorithm to analyze various famous people based on their accomplishments, samples of their writing, SAT scores, and favorite types of hair products (no--really, there's a relationship!)
The interviewer for SCT pressed Monsieur Menteur, since some of these findings posed huge contradictions to long held ideas about intelligence and success, claiming that these numbers seemed to correlate more significantly with the public figures' popularity ratings. SCT further noted, that based on these findings, Paris Hilton, who has quite a remarkable ability to play dumb while running quite a few successful cologne and handbag businesses, might have more of what it takes to be president than Bill Clinton, who thinks with two heads instead of one. M. Menteur quickly retracted, saying that according to his official political stance, IQ has very little bearing upon success, and that it has much more to do with family connections and privilege. Abashedly, he admitted that a few of the scores were based on self reports. Even so, these findings will be touted by liberals across the country as "scientific proof" of their innate superiority.
Related Posts
References
IQ expressed as a percentile of the population
Forbes list of Billionaires
Wikipedia
| Public Figure | Title(s) | IQ score | Percentage of the Population (rough estimate) |
Sarah Palin | Beauty Queen Career Politician | 89 | bottom 24% |
| Peter from "Family Guy" | Average Shmuck | 90 | bottom 26% |
| Ronald Reagan | Actor Politician | 92 | bottom 30% |
| George Bush | Career Politician | 102 | top 41% |
| Snooki from "Jersey Shore" | Reality TV Star | 104 | top 43% |
| Ahnold "the Governator" Schwarzenegger | Actor Career Politician | 105 | top 46% |
| Mitt Romney | Businessman Politician | 115 | top 18% |
| Barak Obama | Career Politician | 125 | top 5% |
| Michael Bloomberg | Businessman Politician | 128 | "" |
| Ron Paul | Politician | 128 | "" |
| Pam Anderson | Playboy Playmate Actress Vegan | 129 | top 4% |
| Lady Gia | Top Dominatrix Subject public obsession | 135 | top 3% |
| Bill Clinton | Career Politician | 148 | top 0.10% |
| Paris Hilton | Actress, Model,Dancer, Businesswoman, Party Tramp | 152 | "" |
| Bill Gates | Professional Geek Formerly the Richest Man on Earth, now in 2nd place (loser!) | 163 | top 0.01% |
| Joyce McKinney | Beauty Pageant Queen Star of the documentary "Tabloid" | 165 | "" |
| Albert Einstein | Famous Scientist who kicked off a Jew-fro rage back in the 1940s | 168 | "" |
| Marilyn Vos Savant | Someone you've never heard of | 228 | top .00000001% |
The spokesperson of the Lovenstein Institute, Henri Menteur, in an interview with Smear Campaign Today, a bimonthly magazine that distributes propaganda to a dedicated subscriber base of roughly 300, 000, claimed that their elite group of scientists, who were qualified based on numerous strict criteria analyzed by a special algorithm which takes into account education, accomplishments, political affiliation, and favorite cookie shape, discerned this information by using this same algorithm to analyze various famous people based on their accomplishments, samples of their writing, SAT scores, and favorite types of hair products (no--really, there's a relationship!)
The interviewer for SCT pressed Monsieur Menteur, since some of these findings posed huge contradictions to long held ideas about intelligence and success, claiming that these numbers seemed to correlate more significantly with the public figures' popularity ratings. SCT further noted, that based on these findings, Paris Hilton, who has quite a remarkable ability to play dumb while running quite a few successful cologne and handbag businesses, might have more of what it takes to be president than Bill Clinton, who thinks with two heads instead of one. M. Menteur quickly retracted, saying that according to his official political stance, IQ has very little bearing upon success, and that it has much more to do with family connections and privilege. Abashedly, he admitted that a few of the scores were based on self reports. Even so, these findings will be touted by liberals across the country as "scientific proof" of their innate superiority.
Related Posts
- Democratic Parenting (humor)
- German Castration Legislation (dark humor)
- What is funny, exactly?
- Lady G's Art of Psychological Warfare (dark humor)
- New Ban on Alpha Females in Sports (extremely dark, viscious humor)
References
IQ expressed as a percentile of the population
Forbes list of Billionaires
Wikipedia
No comments:
Post a Comment