Here's to the reality TV watchers,
And downright simple-minded among you.
I tip my hat to you,
White collar criminals,
And secretaries who let it all happen under their noses.
I salute you, bribe collecting politicians,
Hard nosed conservatives,
And those who don't give a rat's ass about politics.
A toast to the drunkard stock brokers,
The disgustingly poor,
The filthy fucking rich,
And the struggling bohemians who moved to Philadelphia.
I tip my glass to the shameless glitterati,
the ruthless paparazzi,
the narcissist socialites,
the well heeled frauds,
and the New York Post
for feeding intelligent minds with high minded, unbiased information.
Here's to the hatemongers,
The other obssessed,
And the New York Psychoanalytic Society,
For catering to all of their needs.
Here's to the greatest city on the planet,
A pinnacle of civilization,
An enviable representation of humanity
That is emulated the world over.
Cheers! Let us celebrate great things to come!