A salute to New Yorkers

Here's to you, New York!
Here's to the reality TV watchers,
Gamer dorks,
Loudmouth fuck-holes,
Snotty hipsters,
Sweaty fat-asses,
Charismatic sociopaths,
Homeless schizophrenics,
And downright simple-minded among you.
I tip my hat to you,
Petty shoplifters,
Mass murderers,
Drug dealers,
White collar criminals,
And secretaries who let it all happen under their noses.
I salute you, bribe collecting politicians,
Womanizing cops,
Hard nosed conservatives,
Libero-nazis,
And those who don't give a rat's ass about politics.
A toast to the drunkard stock brokers,
The disgustingly poor,
The filthy fucking rich,
And the struggling bohemians who moved to Philadelphia. 
I tip my glass to the shameless glitterati,
the ruthless paparazzi,
the narcissist socialites,
the well heeled frauds,
and the New York Post
for feeding intelligent minds with high minded, unbiased information.
Here's to the hatemongers,
Hypocrites,
Low-lifes,
Pseudo-intellectuals,
Elitist pigs,
The self-absorbed,
The other obssessed,
And the New York Psychoanalytic Society,
For catering to all of their needs.

Here's to the greatest city on the planet,
A pinnacle of civilization,
An enviable representation of humanity
That is emulated the world over.
Cheers!  Let us celebrate great things to come!